Iowa - Will the owner of the owner of the '76 Ford Galaxy please search through the hoarding rubble you have piled up, and find the ticket worth $16.5 Million you purchased almost a year ago in Des Moines.
I'm going to assume that someone like that - some undeserving American stereotype - has that ticket hidden under a pile of old newspapers in their trashy home.
Not a thriving start-up business owner. Or a mother of three who is struggling to get by.
What's even crazier is a $77 Million lotto winning went unclaimed in Georgia on Monday. I'm not even joking.
I'm pretty sure most people check their lotto tickets within 24 hours of the drawing. We're all hoping and praying the back of our minds that this is it. That we can finally tell that crappy boss to shove it. Get the kids into private school. Buy a car that doesn't sound like an Iranian sewing machine.
Oh well, we hope that whoever it is, finds this ticket and claims it before that money gets tossed back into the lotto pool.
Carrey and Anastasia Vitkina.
Yahoo never ceases to amaze me. Front and center is an article about our dear old friend, Jim Carrey.
He's always had a bevvy of beautiful ladies in his wake. However, the headline read "The 49-year-old actor has been getting cozy with a Russian-born beauty." enticed me to click fast and then laugh.
I immediately thought to myself "She might be Russian, but she's no beauty" and I wasn't the only one thinking it. She is just skinny. And skinny isn't beautiful if you don't have the looks to back it up.
Meth addicts are skinny. Crackheads are skinny. Doesn't make them pretty.
Here's where women inject the idea that this is what beauty is and continue to blame men. The media may says she's a beauty. Judging by every comment I read, and my own personal reaction, I think it's safe to assume we're all on the same page.
She needs a steak. Jim, for god's sake, buy that girl a meal.
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Before the crash
_ Frito-Lay truck driver David Dopp is just your average Joe. He drives a truck. Blue collar dude. Probably a nice guy.
However, the level of ridicule he is facing is almost insurmountable. After winning a contest he entered at a Utah convenience store, this buffoon took ownership of his brand new 640HP Lamborghini LP-640, decided to enjoy his new ride.
Even before he took the keys to the car, he received a call from the sheriff's office, advising him to keep it under control. I mean c'mon, who gets a call from the cops proactively telling you to watch your speed?
These cops should be psychic. It was only matter of 4 hours before Dopp pulled a douche move and wrecked that beautiful machine.
Check out the slide show below to see the before & after.
Since Christmas is around the corner, I figured it was time for us to remember some of the most awesome Holiday movies and their funny scenes. I'm bringing back some classics and they are unedited, so if you're sensitive to foul language...well you're on the wrong site to begin with.
Enjoy!
The Ref (1994)
Scrooged (1988)
Bad Santa (2003)
A Christmas Story (1980)
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
If you're like many Americans, you enjoy watching Wheel of Fortune. Every once in a while, a guest on the show comes along that blows you away. Here's one of them. He probably has a hippy van parked in the studio parking lot, stocked with lunch meat, bread, and "hookah."
I have two Rednose Pitbulls that finally had their first litter. The process reminded me the importance of nutrition for both the puppies and the mother as those puppies will be draining her on an hourly basis. She needs to be fed sometimes hourly, for the first couple of days. Or she will be completely emaciated.
Here's something I found that could really help in a pinch if the puppies aren't getting enough milk. You should also try to swap nipples as well, as some nipples might not be producing which will cause that puppy to not get the same amount of milk needed.
Esbilac Puppy Milk is great! I used it once my Sadie was just completely drained. And she was thankful.
I've been around long enough to have a basis for my frustrations. I'm not just some guy who has random gripes because I'm really mad about something else.
One of my biggest gripes right now is I-4. I have to traverse this paved bastion of stupidity on a daily basis. Over the years, I have noticed some pretty incredible anomalies that just don't make any $%#$%@$ sense.
And one of the biggest annoyances about driving on I-4 are people getting onto I-4 from the westbound entrance at Saxon Blvd. For some idiotic reason, the majority of drivers have commitment issues with leaving the merging lane. Why?
How hard is it to understand that lane is ending in a 1/4 mile. Ooooh no. You persist in staying in that lane, knowing damn well it's about to end.
At the last moment you have to dive to the left, cutting off a tractor trailer, or family of tourist about to blow thousands of dollars on a well-deserved vacation.
I witness this every day. Not once in a while. Not once a month. Every damn day.
On what highway in America have you driven on where the merging lane just never ends? By that logic, highways would be 200 lanes wide and there would be no traffic!
If you haven't figured out that when you're merging onto the highway, the lane you used to get onto that highway is probably going to end, you should consider donating yourself to science.
Today.
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