By Steve Figueroa
After a exhausting day of writing for two sites, twittering, tracking stats, harassing potential customers, setting up appointments with other clients, and trying not to lose my mind, I realized I was avoiding the fact that it's Valentine's Day.
Can you blame me? It's been awhile since I've had an actual functioning relationship.
I've managed to squeeze in some adorable crushes, great make-out sessions, and the admiration of some amazing women since my last relationship. Many moons ago.
However, every year around this time, I make one of two choices.
A. Hang out with a bunch of miserable buddies who pretend the single life is just glamorous.
B. Make an exception to my "no drinking at home rule" and crack open a few Sam Adams collecting dust in
my refrigerator.
This year, I chose Plan B. No pun intended.
I am not getting any younger. Nor am I in a rush. However, I realized I took a huge gamble in leaving a seemingly stable job to follow my dreams of working for myself and just doing everything I could to make this happen.
Every minute I spend questioning that decision just isn't healthy. Neither is listening to Kings of Leon, Adele, Lady Antebellum, and every shitty sad song that magically appeared on my Pandora, while I was working.
Opening your mind to a new concept of "career" affects everything you do. Including how you view interactions with women.
That chocolate garden gnome, Cee-Lo Green, got it right. That song, "F*ck You" is pretty accurate. Even as an adult. You start to see through people and weed out the sociopaths. The vampires. The ones who thrive on the thought of you and not actually wanting to be with you.
That's when it gets interesting!
Friend-Zone Girls: You know, the ones who butter you up for free drinks, then tell you about the terrible guys they are with and say "you're like a big brother to me!" Just give up my friend. You are never going to win her over. For the most part, the cat is out of the bag on this one. But some people still believe these turd-buckets of friendships will evolve into something more.
They don't. So stop lying to yourself.
Sluts/Manwhores at the Bar: This goes for both men and women. Guys have bar-chicks that will make out with you on a dime if you buy them a few shots. But still run home to the douchebag in the tilted cap, skater tats, who treats them like ass because they are going to fix him someday. Stop dreaming bro. She's made her choice. It isn't you.
Many Ladies adore that guy who's got the mentality of a date-rapist, but looks great in a V-neck shirt. Sure, he's a bad boy, but if you put the moves on him, he'll change just for you. How's that working out for you? Oh, you guys split up? Awww, pobrecita!
Seriously, we all need to wake up. Accept that while many of the most amazing members of the opposite sex are taken, that just means you have to step up your game. You have to work hard to wade through the swamp of losers, has-beens, deadbeats, religious freaks, weirdos, racist, drunks, druggies, and Facebook stalkers to find someone worthy of your love.
At the same time, you also have to be worthy of that person.
You can't just assume that everything about you is acceptable, and the opposite (or same) sex is retarded. Take a long, deep, revealing look at yourself. Find what you know needs to be worked on. Be honest. Be realistic.
Whatever you can control, and are willing to work on, focus your energy on it. You don't have to be perfect by any means.
Most of the time, those are the things that are holding you back because we distract people with these minor issues. You don't have to be perfect. But show that you give a shit.
Stop living in denial. Stop accepting things, then bitching about them later on facebook statuses. If you set your mind to something, chances are, you are going to achieve it.
The key is to becoming the happiest version of you. The real you. Once you reach that point, people are going to love being a part of your life. You'll attract the right friends, piss off the ones who love drama, and eventually find someone worthy of who you are. The person you have been all along.
Until then, don't be mad that you're alone. Look at this time as training for the big game.
Don't get me wrong. I still think Valentine's Day is the second biggest made-up obligatory holiday, engineered by savvy marketing geniuses. However, I wouldn't mind having a someone to stare at in some last minute, Victoria's Secret outfit that won't last 3 minutes before being ripped off.
After a exhausting day of writing for two sites, twittering, tracking stats, harassing potential customers, setting up appointments with other clients, and trying not to lose my mind, I realized I was avoiding the fact that it's Valentine's Day.
Can you blame me? It's been awhile since I've had an actual functioning relationship.
I've managed to squeeze in some adorable crushes, great make-out sessions, and the admiration of some amazing women since my last relationship. Many moons ago.
However, every year around this time, I make one of two choices.
A. Hang out with a bunch of miserable buddies who pretend the single life is just glamorous.
B. Make an exception to my "no drinking at home rule" and crack open a few Sam Adams collecting dust in
my refrigerator.
This year, I chose Plan B. No pun intended.
I am not getting any younger. Nor am I in a rush. However, I realized I took a huge gamble in leaving a seemingly stable job to follow my dreams of working for myself and just doing everything I could to make this happen.
Every minute I spend questioning that decision just isn't healthy. Neither is listening to Kings of Leon, Adele, Lady Antebellum, and every shitty sad song that magically appeared on my Pandora, while I was working.
Opening your mind to a new concept of "career" affects everything you do. Including how you view interactions with women.
That chocolate garden gnome, Cee-Lo Green, got it right. That song, "F*ck You" is pretty accurate. Even as an adult. You start to see through people and weed out the sociopaths. The vampires. The ones who thrive on the thought of you and not actually wanting to be with you.
That's when it gets interesting!
Friend-Zone Girls: You know, the ones who butter you up for free drinks, then tell you about the terrible guys they are with and say "you're like a big brother to me!" Just give up my friend. You are never going to win her over. For the most part, the cat is out of the bag on this one. But some people still believe these turd-buckets of friendships will evolve into something more.
They don't. So stop lying to yourself.
Sluts/Manwhores at the Bar: This goes for both men and women. Guys have bar-chicks that will make out with you on a dime if you buy them a few shots. But still run home to the douchebag in the tilted cap, skater tats, who treats them like ass because they are going to fix him someday. Stop dreaming bro. She's made her choice. It isn't you.
Many Ladies adore that guy who's got the mentality of a date-rapist, but looks great in a V-neck shirt. Sure, he's a bad boy, but if you put the moves on him, he'll change just for you. How's that working out for you? Oh, you guys split up? Awww, pobrecita!
Seriously, we all need to wake up. Accept that while many of the most amazing members of the opposite sex are taken, that just means you have to step up your game. You have to work hard to wade through the swamp of losers, has-beens, deadbeats, religious freaks, weirdos, racist, drunks, druggies, and Facebook stalkers to find someone worthy of your love.
At the same time, you also have to be worthy of that person.
You can't just assume that everything about you is acceptable, and the opposite (or same) sex is retarded. Take a long, deep, revealing look at yourself. Find what you know needs to be worked on. Be honest. Be realistic.
- Are you a little chubby? Hit the gym.
- Do you smoke? Check into tobacco alternatives.
- Are you too hipster for your own good? Fix that!
- Are you rocking "mom jeans" and you're only 29? Fix that!
Whatever you can control, and are willing to work on, focus your energy on it. You don't have to be perfect by any means.
Most of the time, those are the things that are holding you back because we distract people with these minor issues. You don't have to be perfect. But show that you give a shit.
Stop living in denial. Stop accepting things, then bitching about them later on facebook statuses. If you set your mind to something, chances are, you are going to achieve it.
The key is to becoming the happiest version of you. The real you. Once you reach that point, people are going to love being a part of your life. You'll attract the right friends, piss off the ones who love drama, and eventually find someone worthy of who you are. The person you have been all along.
Until then, don't be mad that you're alone. Look at this time as training for the big game.
Don't get me wrong. I still think Valentine's Day is the second biggest made-up obligatory holiday, engineered by savvy marketing geniuses. However, I wouldn't mind having a someone to stare at in some last minute, Victoria's Secret outfit that won't last 3 minutes before being ripped off.
RSS Feed
