Winter Haven - Theodore Reese, 44 , was so obliterated he honed into a patrol car like a fly to a bug zapper. So his D.U.I was well deserved.

I almost feel bad for the guy because he wears glasses as that "Mustache Ride" face you typically see on a man at the end of his rope.

Unless he was a cop himself, then it's standard issue.

Reese's impact with the deputy's cruiser was so hard, he bent the county issue'd AR-15 weapon located in the truck.

And those are usually S&W M&P 15 rifles so the county is definitely going to take on quite a bill for Theo when he gets to court.

Just look at that face. $10 says someone in booking asked him "Theo...c'mon man...do the Truffle Shuffle!!"