I am having the most difficult time trying to wean Dino from baby bottles. I guess I didn't know what to expect since Belle was so by-the-book with everything. When she turned a year old, I took her bottle and formula and replaced it with milk and a sippy cup, and she never looked back. Now she is the picky eater. Dino will shove pretty much any type of food in her face, but she cries for her "ba ba" all day long. 

I nixed the baby formula as soon as she turned one year old, however, I do not allow her to have cow's milk like I did with Belle. So Dino is on a soy toddler formula because she is not supposed to have regular soy milk until age two. This has severely hindered my efforts because she associates the toddler formula can with a bottle. It has taken me two and a half months to get that kid down to one bottle a day. I still let her have the one before bed time because I know it is comforting to her. And partly because I'm selfish and don't feel like being up half the night with a crying toddler. 

Picture this: Adorable baby Dino, staring up at her soy formula and beloved bottles (which are kept on top the fridge, where I thought she wouldn't notice them...) with her big blue tear-filled eyes and a pathetic little sad face, arms outstretched. What mommy could say no to that? 

I have to break this habit now because her 15 month checkup is next month, and I really don't want a scolding from her doctor. I personally don't think there should be such a rush for her to grow up, but I do want to make sure her teeth and gums are healthy. It's just heartbreaking because Dino is too young to understand that mommy is doing this for her own good. 

Sigh. Wish me luck. 

Okay, so I can admit it. Sometimes I get really jealous of my friends and family. I know it's ridiculous and completely pointless, but it happens nonetheless. 

I have a close friend who is an amazing athlete. She has overcome some pretty serious medical problems, and came out even stronger on the other side. She is motivated and determined, yet never brags. And she is always there to answer any questions I may have about training and she is always there to inspire me when I know I need to run but would rather sit on my butt in sweats. I wish I had those qualities. I wish I was better at physical activities and I really wish I had a better attitude about it.

I also have my amazing best friend, who is one of the most intelligent, open minded, free spirited people I have ever met. She's beautiful and non-judgmental. She also has a great marriage with her adoring husband, and she is a great mom to her kids. She loves me whether I'm dancing in her living room, or crying in her bathroom. I can be myself with her. Those are also qualities I wish I could possess. She's honest, but less abrasive than I am. And my approach isn't always gentle enough to make people comfortable with completely opening up to me.

See that picture? That's exactly how I feel most days. I feel like people expect me to be a perfect mother, homemaker, friend, gym rat (runner, yogi, etc). Now that I'll will be joining the workforce again shortly, I also want to be the best employee. 

Some days I feel like Superwoman. I got this. I can play with the kids, help with homework, squeeze in a workout (and maybe even a shower) while Dino is napping, text and Facebook my friends, read a few pages of a book, cook a fantastic lasagna or enchilada casserole, do the dishes, bathe the kids, write a blog, and still have 30 seconds left to breathe. 

Some days, like today, I want to sit in my pajamas until noon and sip my coffee while watching Jersey Shore reruns. Then the guilt sets in. What could I be doing? What should I be doing? Instead of sitting in front of the computer typing this, I could be folding the laundry, working out, calling my grandma, getting Belle's school stuff ready for a new week, researching Master's Degree programs, making $.50 an hour on Amazon Turk, or anything other than being a bump on a log. 

Sometimes I try to justify it by saying that I deserve a break. Or, like right now, I have a cold and I don't feel like doing anything productive. But it also seems like everything falls apart if I skip a day. Laundry and dishes pile up, kids are cranky, I gain 5 pounds because I order Chinese food instead of cooking healthy meals, and then I'm even more overwhelmed because I have to work even harder to catch up.

What all moms need, especially myself, is a way to balance all of life's responsibilities so things don't get so chaotic when mommy is out of commission. You would think that I'd have this figured out well into my 6th year of motherhood, but life is unpredictable and circumstances change. 

I just needed to vent, but any advice is welcome. In the meantime, I hear the couch calling my name. Have a good day! :)

It's official. My divorce papers have been filed. It would be an understatement to say I am conflicted. This is never what I wanted, and I was angry at first, but deep down I know it is for the best. 

But now, everyone and their mother seems to have a comment or question about what I will do next. I gave up a lot for my marriage and my kids, including a few friends and my career. And I was content with that decision at the time. I thought I was sacrificing my own dreams for a VALID reason, eternal love. Well ladies, love is not eternal and it doesn't pay the bills, and neither do ex-husbands.

So here I am again, a single mom of two kids who have two different fathers. My friends and family say I'm educated, friendly, healthy, fun, and intelligent, and that the RIGHT man will love me and my kids, despite my past circumstances.  It's only natural for people to think that I will find myself in another relationship (and even marriage) in the not so distant future. I've never had a problem finding a significant other. Keeping him is a different matter. 

Which leads me to my current dilemma...

A part of me thinks that I have always been better off alone. I like my own time and space to do activities that I love, like yoga and running and seeing my friends. I can't help my independent personality and my strong desire to be myself, despite what other people may think. I like having time to take my kids where I want to take them. I like making whatever vegetarian meal I want for dinner without having to appease someone else. I have no problem sleeping alone, eating alone, driving alone, working alone, running alone, or raising my kids alone. Sometimes I think I would be perfectly happy without a significant other.

However, I am still a woman. And sometimes, on days like yesterday, I miss having someone to celebrate with. And on days like today, when I get good news and have no one to share it with. I miss loving and I miss being loved. I miss having a partner, a companion, a best friend. I miss hand holding, hugs, and kisses. I miss having someone tell me I'm pretty and awesome in general. I miss dates. Those missing things may lead me to let my guard down someday.

Don't get me wrong. I have NO intention of getting into another relationship or introducing anyone to my kids for a VERY long time. But I'm still on the fence about "dating." I just hope that if I do someday meet the "right" man, I won't hold my previous heartbreaks against him. But for now, I'll just hang out with my kids, family, and friends, and just let life takes me where it wants me to go.

Kids crack me up. They aren't scared to fart and burp in public. They aren't afraid to tell people exactly what they think of them, even the 700 pound stranger in line at Walmart buying candy bars. And they definitely aren't afraid to express themselves, no matter what anyone else thinks. In a way, we can learn a lot from them. But sometimes, we just want them to keep their little mouths shut. 

How much control should you give your kids over their personal decisions and belief systems? Do you feel that kids should be able to make choices based on their own feelings about the world? Or do you believe that your children should always follow your teachings, even if they don't necessarily believe in them?

What do you do if you are a die hard Republican raising Democrat kids? Or if you are a Buddhist raising Christian kids? Or a Christian raising homosexual kids? Or a vegan raising kids who want cheeseburgers and hot dogs for dinner? At what point do you let them stray from your beliefs, if at all? 

When children are young, they want nothing more than to please the people they love. They are clay and we are the sculptors. They (generally) do as we say at the time. They accept our lifestyles as truth, even if the rest of the world disagrees. We are responsible for turning them from little blobs of cells to decent productive adults. Many of us don't even deserve this privilege. Some of us didn't necessarily want or expect it in the first place. But nonetheless, it is the parental unit that ultimately decides the fate of their children. And in my opinion, too many people find a way to screw it up. 

As kids get older, start school, and interact with their peers and adults other than their parents, they become exposed to the morals, ideals, and beliefs (or lack thereof) of people who may not share those morals, ideals, and beliefs that they have been taught. What then? Do you teach your children that your way is the only way? Or do you teach them about diversity and how differences don't have to be negative? At what age is it appropriate for your child to choose his/her own religion or lifestyle?

This is a controversial topic, I know, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't encourage an intellectual debate now and then. I would love to hear your opinions on the subject. But I do ask that you please keep it clean and respect the views of others, even if you don't agree with them.  

Today's topic is exercise, or the lack thereof. Every woman thinks about it. We worry if we aren't doing enough. Sometimes we do too much. And if we have kids, we wonder when on earth we can fit in 10 minutes to ourselves. And do we really want to spend it sweating?

My answer is YES! You know it's good for you. And you know even 10 minutes of light yoga or stretching can improve your overall mood. Not to mention ladies, after popping out a kid or two, you know your lady lumps aren't all still in the right places.  

Easier said than done, right? Yes and no. I have people ask me all the time how I have the energy, time, and motivation to work out every day. Well, in the words of my good friend MAJ (who is a kick a$$ triathlete and marathoner,) "If you really want to do it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse." 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not Superwoman. There are days when I don't even get out of sweat pants. I have wasted hours sitting on the couch shoving food in my face while the kids played. I have opened a bottle of wine instead of going for a run. I have chosen nachos over a salad. That's life. I can't be perfect and no one expects you to be either. But for the sake of your family, you should do SOMETHING, no matter how small.

So here are a few things I've done to get in shape after having my kids:

* Take baby steps. Literally. Take your baby for a walk in one of those slings or carriers. Believe me, you will feel the burn. If your baby or toddler is a little older, put her in the stroller and walk to the store instead of driving. Baby will love the scenery and you will kill two birds with one stone. Groceries and a workout!

* Start slowly. You can't just jump off the couch one day and decide to run 5 miles. I know it's frustrating, but you have to build your fitness level back up first so that you don't hurt yourself. I learned this lesson when I was out of commission for about two weeks with a foot injury because I was trying to do too much too soon. I couldn't even run a mile a year ago, after having Dino. Now I can run 7 (so far.) 

* Use baby as a weight. I used to do what I called Baby Crunches and Baby Presses. I would lay down with bent knees, sit Dino on my stomach with her back against my legs, hold her hands, and crunch up. She would giggle and think it was a game. I would also lay her on my chest, then lift her up and back down, like the airplane game, but with my arms instead of legs. She liked that one too. You can play and tone at the same time.

* Have a dance party in your living room! I did this with Belle and Dino a couple months ago. I turned on some pop music and they both boogied with me for about an hour. I was sweating by the end of our little party, and the girls got some exercise too. It was super fun and Belle thought I was such a "cool mom" for playing Lady Gaga and Selena Gomez and Britney Spears.

* Last but not least, by far the easiest of them all, work out when the kids nap (if they are little) or are in school (if they are not so little.) You will be able to focus more on YOU and how your body feels. And who cares if you end up not having time to shower. Your kids will love you, stinky and all. 

I really hope you can find a use for these tips in your lives. Exercise is so important for your health. You asked what motivates me and I will tell you. Belle and Dino need their mommy, and I REFUSE to get sick and die young from a preventable disease. I want to see them grow up, graduate college, get married, have their own Belles and Baby Dinos. And I need to be a good example for them so they they will be good examples to their kids. For once, I want a good cycle in my life, not a vicious one. And it starts with me. 

Ahhh Florida, the Sunshine State. Land of beautiful beaches, fun filled theme parks, and...the worst school systems EVER! Never in a million years did I think it would be so difficult to register a kid for school!

Registering Belle for Kindergarten in Seminole County was fairly easy. I don't remember stressing about it much. But when we moved from Seminole County to Orange County, the new school district wanted every shred of info ever written on my child. I'm surprised they didn't need blood work and DNA samples! But nothing compares to our most recent move to Osceola County.

Belle is away on a trip with her father right now, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to withdraw her from her old school and enroll her in her new school. I went to the school, took a tour, met the Assistant Principal and all seemed well. I went home and gathered all the paperwork I needed for registration, which took a few days. So today, packet in hand, I arrived at the school to complete the registration. 

The Principal happened to be in the front office at the time, and he asked to see Belle's previous report card. I gladly handed it over, proud that my baby has had good grades in every subject. He looks, pauses, says "hmmm." He and the office staff exchanged glances, like they were all in on a big a secret they didn't want to tell me. He asked to speak to me in his office and I knew it wasn't going to be good.

Starting a conversation off with "I know this isn't want any parent wants to hear, but..." is never comforting. Nonetheless, he continued by informing me that the Florida class size law limits each classroom to 18 students per teacher. A first grader had registered a few hours before I got there and ALL first grade classes were now full. I looked at him with my, "I know I might seem ignorant, but how exactly is that possible" face. And he continued on that Belle is not advanced enough to be considered for the gifted program, where one seat remained. So, that left two options. She could either be placed in a Kindergarten or 2nd grade "combo class." (Don't ask me how it's considered a combo when she'd be the only first grader...) Or she could go to another school. Of course, the only other school that would provide bus transportation is the Charter Academy a few miles down the street. We wrapped up the conversation, but I remained very uncomfortable about the whole scenario.

At that point, I decided it wouldn't hurt to contact the Charter Academy to find out of they had any open availability. Lo and behold, they had spots open so I raced over there to take a tour. I loved it! (Dino loved it too since a nice lady that works there decided to give her a homemade croissant. That kid loves her food.) Belle will be enrolled first thing in the morning and her spot is being held for us in the meantime. 

The moral of the story is: Don't wait until the last minute to do anything related to your child's education, especially if you live in Florida. Thankfully everything worked out and I think Belle will be very happy at her new school. But I never want to go through that mess again!

I hear people say all the time that having a positive attitude will help make your dreams come true. Those of you who have known me for awhile know that I am far from the epitome of positive thinking, mainly because I'm more of a realist than an optimist. But hey, if being Little Miss Sunshine for a little while can help me meet my goals, it's worth a shot. It's better than sitting around crying about everything that has gone wrong in my life. 

Because it's too time consuming to try to do something crazy, like make on online vision board, I am formulating a list of the things I want in life. So, here's to hoping the Universe sees my goals and doesn't try so hard this time to destroy them.

* I want my Master's Degree in Psychology, so I can get paid to teach at a community college. I am currently formulating a plan to make this happen. Nothing definite yet, but I'm working on it. 

* In the meantime, I obviously need to acquire a well paying job that I really like (or at least not hate.) I also want to book more makeup jobs on the side, which is hard without an extensive foundation/powder kit. So I guess I'll need one of those whenever I can afford it.

* I don't want my career to take too much time away from my kids. They are the most important people in my life. Balance is key.

* I want to finally get my body into great shape. I know I'm already strong and healthy, but I also need to do more yoga for flexibility and stress relief. I want to run faster and sign up for more races! And I want to go back to a (mostly) vegetarian diet. Already putting that plan in motion, and getting my family involved too. 

* A date with David Boreanaz. Hey, nothing is off limits, right? 

* I want to have more fun, spend more time with friends, laugh more, and play more games with the kids.

* I want to know real joy. Not just joyful moments, but the feeling you get when you're truly happy and at peace with yourself.

* Last but not least, I want my two amazing little girls to always feel happy and loved.

So bring it on, Universe! I'm ready for whatever you want to throw at me next :)

In the past, I have been both a working mom and a stay-at-home mom. I can honestly say that staying home with Dino for the first 13 months of her life has been a special kind of challenge, the kind that can be so difficult but at the same time so rewarding. I didn't get to stay home with Belle after her first four months so I had no idea what to expect. However, I'm glad I got the opportunity to be home with both of them this past year. 

As I begin my full-time employment search, I am conflicted. On one hand, it will be great to get back into the working world, to be independent, and to be able to eventually become financially stable enough for the girls and I to have a place of our own. But on the other hand, the thought of Dino being in daycare full time is breaking my heart. I'm grateful that I got to stay home with her as long as I did, but I think it might have been less painful had I gone back to work a few months after she was born. Now, I think I may have more of a problem with separation anxiety than she will. 

This also affects Belle. She got used to ME being at the bus stop every morning and every afternoon. She got used to ME helping her with her homework. She got used to ME taking her to all of her activities, like gymnastics, yoga, swimming, and zumba. And it really saddens me that I won't have as much time and energy for her once I'm working full time. 

As much as I complain about the messes and mini-meltdowns, I'm really going to miss the time I won't get to spend with my girls. I know it's best for me to get back out there so that I can provide for them. I just hope that one day when they are older, they will understand that everything I do (and don't do) is for them.